The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
