So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
The adults are the big ones right?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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