is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
