even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
