I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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