Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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