i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
They took my balls.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
