i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I am spending my child support on dildos
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
