It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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