Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
