If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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