my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM VODKA MAN
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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