You're my little dorito
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
