You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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