dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
