I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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