walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
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me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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