Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
