currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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