Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
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He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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