hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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