No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He felt like a one man threesome
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
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