i will never coherently bang her
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
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He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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