If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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