lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
