I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize