her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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