the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
