Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
