the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
