a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
40s are totally the cure
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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