Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
