i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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