I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
