True but thats because hes a fetus.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
