Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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