i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
