I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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