last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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