literally had 100 drinks last night.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
