If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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