This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
