i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
