# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
