In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
