Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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