wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
