so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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