Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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