Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
My legs feel like baby dolphins
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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