nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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