if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
