they need to just BURY HIM!
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
