I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
