he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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