I just made out with a guy for $7.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
