I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I take back everything I said about communal showers
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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