i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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