I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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