Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
