Swine flu. Run for my life!
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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