I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
